Not everybody can handle your dreams

Jul 21, 2023

I called my friend a few years ago and told her about something that I was believing God for in my life. It was one of those big dreams that required a lot of faith because my reality said there’s no way that’s going to happen. She laughed and said, “You realize the chances of that happening are slim to none, right?” That’s when I learned a valuable lesson – not everybody can handle your dreams.

My friend is not a bad person nor would I categorize her as a “hater.” She just could not understand the vision that I had for my life and that’s OK because it was my vision. If you are spending time trying to convince people to back your dream then you are wasting time that you could be working towards it. People who can’t dream big for their own life can’t comprehend the imagination you have for yours. Good thing you don’t need their approval for it to come to pass.

Here are eight ways to tell if a person can’t handle your dreams.

1. They seem angry or annoyed while you’re sharing your dreams

Some people get angry because you dare to dream. The sheer fact that you believe better and greater is possible for your life makes them uncomfortable. Usually that has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with how they feel about their own life. Most stagnant people are annoyed by dreamers. If you notice their body language changes as you’re sharing your dreams or they don’t seem genuinely interested in listening to you, that’s a sign. People who are happy for you will show it.

2. They rarely share in your excitement when you win

Think about how this person has responded to past achievements in your life. Did they celebrate with you? Did they reach out and congratulate you? If this person has rarely shown up for you with past successes that is usually an indication that they are envious of you. Watch how people respond to the blessings in your life.

Side note: We tend to think that people in our family or friends will champion our dreams. We run to them and share our dreams with the expectation that they are going to support us. But here is the sad truth – just because your family and friends have close proximity to you does not automatically mean they will rejoice with you.

3. They find ways to include themselves as a pivotal role in your dreams

People in this category will see your dreams as an opportunity for them to “come up.” Their line of questioning will be less about who you want to impact, how you want to get there and how they can support you. Instead, they will focus on what’s in it for them. Many people struggle with playing the supporting actor because we tend to have a mentality that it’s either the leading role or nothing. If a person doesn’t champion your dreams because it does not include them then they are a person who supports only if it comes with recognition.

4. They respond to your words of manifestation with words of doubt

This looks like them telling you why it won’t happen after you just told them why you believe it will. They find every opportunity to counter your positive words with words of uncertainty and contradictions. You will rarely hear them speaking things into existence in their own life. Your powerful words make them uncomfortable.

5. They seem annoyed that you were not persuaded by their advice

People who share their negative words and unsolicited advice do so with the hope that they change your mind. These naysayers try to plant seeds that derail your dreams and fill you with hopelessness. Perhaps, not because they don’t believe you can achieve but because they know you will. Anytime you keep going when people are trying to persuade you to do otherwise, they will feel contempt towards you even more.

6. They focus more on you as a person than your purpose

Sometimes, it’s not the dream that they have a problem with, it's that it came from your mouth. People who don’t want to see you win will say they are rejecting your vision when in reality they are rejecting you. If they can’t see the greater good of your dreams then their focus is not on your purpose, but on you as a person.

7. They avoid asking how you accomplished your dreams

People who want to learn from you will find a way to learn from you. If you find that they make assumptions instead of asking you how you accomplished your dreams, then their goal is not to learn from you but to be in competition with you.

Other times people may avoid asking you how you accomplished your dreams because it’s too painful. For some people, you are the nagging reminder of what they didn’t have the courage to do.

8. They find ways to tease you about your dreams

People who can’t handle your dreams will label you in an effort to belittle them. You might get nicknamed based on your dreams or called out for having a dream that’s five years old. They usually take this route because they know there’s nothing else they can do to stop you.

I want to encourage you from one dreamer to the next – keep dreaming even if you’re the only one who claps.

Whitney M. Maddox is National Public Radio's (NPR) inaugural Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Director. She is on a daily journey to live BOLD. She is originally from Oakman, Alabama.